From Brokenness to Community (Many Are Called Few Are Chosen)

A few years back several women and I pondered the scripture,"Many are called but few are chosen." What did it mean? What was God saying? At that time we were serving the poor in the inner city of Atlanta.

Jean Varnier called people to "radical discipleship" wherever he was invited. What did he mean by "radical discipleship"? And how does its meaning shed light on community? What is the deeper understanding of true discipleship? How are we to walk it out among us so as to be able to walk it out (extend our arms) to the poor?

When we moved to Cape Town we thought we'd continue marching along like the lean, strong machine called the Blood N Fire army. But God put us on Halt! We'd gotten in over our heads in the "doing" department or performance mode. And we'd forgotten our first love. For the next six years we were on what sometimes seemed the journey to hell and other times seemed to take us deeper in relationship with our God. Many questioned our motives and vision; and even went so far as to tell us we weren't teachable. It was difficult to endure rejection and loneliness. Yet, we were never alone really. God was always there. We don't always see things as they are when we are going through them, do we? It becomes one of those "can't see the forest for the trees" times. I do not write that lightly, by any means.

The forest often feels like the long, dark night of the soul and it may well be that exactly. Even those nights are meant to cause us to rise up, shake off the dust and free ourselves from our chains. For the Lord has certainly empowered us to do so.

Once upon a time, long ago, I had a question for God: "Is it possible to have a true friend in this world?" "Can that friend really be trusted, can you count on them at the end of the day?"

Little did I know that was merely the beginning of now 16 years of dialogue. As I write I realize my inability to truly allow myself to be vulnerable with anyone but God. And then thinking about it, I have to admit that I've wanted/expected him to be vulnerable with me but I don't often venture all the way out there in my own vulnerability.

What is trust to you? Does it mean you trust someone to respond in the manner you expect or desire them to? Or is trust really about me being alright even if the outcome isn't what I hope or expect? After all, I'll still be me. Nothing will change about me. Perhaps the way others perceive me will change. But they may not have perceived me correctly anyway, so this is just okay, isn't it?

Community seems to seek to create for people a family-like environment in which you gain a deeper sense of their own worth through the bond of friendship.

Can this be for real?

This expression of community may just testify that the most precious human gifts are rooted in weakness. Varnier said that by welcoming the poorest and most vulnerable, we will be spiritually nourished by them. Not that that's my strategy at all. In fact, I believe it is the by product and the promise referred to in Proverbs 19:17:
"He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward him for what he has done."

Choosing community enters into a relationship with people and through this relationship of friendship a light and hidden beauty get revealed in that weakness. We choose to share our lives with devalued people, to establish real bonds with them. It's certainly not in flow with the current value trends of society which call for "going up" the social scale. We have gone against our culture. Blood N Fire, like L'Arche communities are grounded in welcoming the poor and in faith. Our identity is "founded on love for people, founded on love for God and his heart for the poor." Somehow we got off track, focusing on performance and serving rather than being drawn by and lead by God's heart. We discover in this love from the heart of God and from his mysterious presence the heart of God for his people. Janice VanCronkhite's paintings are a tapestry of signs depicting this; calling us, alluring us back into His Presence.

Jim Arrendell sang a spontaneous song out of the Lord's own heart: "My Father will hike up his skirt and come running for you! Come running for you!" And Meredith Thomas sang: "Welcome Home! Welcome Home! Welcome Home!" We had no idea we would be where we are today. Jim Goll prophesied about it and we still didn't get it. He said we would be scattered. But I say to you now, just as Nehemiah fasted and mourned, wept and prayed; he reminded God: Nehemiah 1:5:

"O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel, (Blood N Fire).'I confess the sins we committed against you, including myself and my father's house. We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed your commands, decrees and laws.

Remember, you told Moses, "If you are unfaithful I will scatter you among the nations but if you return to me and obey my commands then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my name."

Lord, you granted Nehemiah favor with the king and you promised to restore; to rebuild our family- to gather them back from the farthest horizon. Am I the only one who believes you will do it?

When you sent us out we limped, not fully equipped for there were those who did not understand your calling. Oh Lord, restore to us the joy of our salvation. Renew a right Spirit within us. Cast us not far off from your presence. Take not your Holy Spirit from us! Call us back O Lord. Our inheritance is being deconstructed, sold and hauled away. Not only the physical building but our vision that you put in our hearts, O Lord! The spiritual place where we have dwelt with you, where unity might have been has been defiled. Purify us O Father, Wash our hands, cleanse us and restore us. Send the spirit of Elijah to turn the hearts of the children toward the fathers and the fathers toward the children. Help our focus be on you again! Help us see the ruins we are in and the places long devastated. That as a restored family you will empower us to rebuild. Reveal the deep recesses of our hearts, Lord, that we will truly begin this good work together with one another and with you.

I am compelled to share the writings of Varnier with you, family. I pray you will read and allow your heart to be captured by God's love anew.

The witness of our faith is destined to be an extraordinary experience for all who will see. Many of whom are presently called "Not my loved ones" will He will call them "My people" and they will say, "You are my God." Like those who joined Nehemiah, family by family, rebuilding the gates; our spiritual act of worship is participating with God in rebuilding community first by allowing Him to rebuild our family. 'It will convey to an even larger audience His deeply moving spiritual message of love for the poor and weak and about the human heart which is the dwelling place of God.' All God asked us to do once we arrived in Cape Town was to wake up every day and welcome Him. I would do this by welcoming Him into the city, envisioning Christ coming across the waters of Table Bay into Cape Town. Now I know this will happen as I welcome Him into my own heart, where He longs to dwell firstly. This is not a selfish thing, on the contrary, it requires dealing with my own personal issues thereby making room for the one who loves me most that I can love others as He has invited me to do.

In a lecture at Harvard Jean Varnier said, "people who are weak, rejected, marginalized, counted as useless can become a source of life and salvation for us as individuals and for our world."

"The incredible gift of friendship of people who are poor and weak call us to love, to communion, compassion and community. And community is a wonderful place, it is life-giving, but it is also a place of pain because it is a place of truth and of growth- the revelation of our pride, our fear and our own brokenness."

Varnier marvels at Jesus' sending out his followers, telling them: "Now Go! Go out to the world and bring the good news to others, don't keep it for yourselves. Heal and liberate, bring life and hope to others, especially the poor, weak, blind and lame."

"Community reveals and exposes hidden pain, fears and our enormous need for acceptance and love. The greatest pain is rejection- the feeling that nobody wants you; that you are ugly, dirty, a burden or of no value. We fear we are not loved. Along with this fear of not being loved comes tension, loneliness and anguish; the opposite of inner peace. There's a deep cry to communicate- for love and friendship. Am I important to you? Do I have any value? When we welcome the unlovely from the world of anguish, brokenness and depression they begin to gradually discover they ARE wanted and loved, then comes the transformation- even resurrection! Relaxation, peace and trust follow.

To be in communion means we actually belong together. It means you are you and I am I; I have my identity and you have yours. I must be myself and you must be yourself. We are called to grow together, each one becoming more fully himself! Communion gives the freedom to grow. It is not possessiveness- it entails deep listening to others, helping them become more fully themselves.

Community can show the hardness of our hearts. It's painful to discover. We are all simply crying out for friendship- often we don't know how to respond because of the forces within our own hearts. These forces from society have trained us to go up the ladder. People are intended to teach and encourage; if we are open to it, healing will come.

Behind my need to win is my own fear of rejection, being devalued or pushed aside; the fear of opening up my own heart and being vulnerable or helpless in front of others, there is the pain and brokenness of my own heart. We see what we never knew was there before; the darkness and hatred within our own hearts. When we are tired and stressed forces of hate rise up quickly, provoking us to hurt the weaker ones around us. Realizing this invites us to really face that inner you!

History reveals that most of us choose to deny this side of ourselves. It's much easier to get busy with projects that distract us from the garbage inside. We've got to own up to these forces within us and work at being free from them. We need to discover that the worst enemy is within our own hearts, not outside! This happens sometimes as other people cry out for communion. It reveals our own poverty and wounds. With God's help and others we can face these issues. That's what the love of community is meant to do! Affirm that you are loved just as you are, with all your wounds and that you can grow through this.

People may come to our community because they want to serve the poor; they only stay when they realize they are the poor. Then they discover that Jesus came to bring the good news to the poor, not those who serve the poor!

We can only meet Jesus, experience His Presence and receive the good news in and through our own poverty,(Isaiah 61), because the kingdom of God belongs to the poor who are crying out for love. Those called to the poor need to discover the presence of God there- God is present in the poverty and wounds of our hearts. Not just in our capacity to heal others but in our need to be healed.

"We can only truly love people who are different, we can only discover that difference is a treasure and not a threat, if in some way our hearts are enfolded in the heart of the Father, if somewhere God is putting into our broken hearts that love that is in God's own heart for each human being. For God is truly in love with each one of us."

To have a mission means to give life, to heal and to liberate. It's to permit people to grow to freedom. Jesus sent people off to liberate and heal others. We can become people of liberation and of healing because we are walking along the road ourselves.

Community is based on forgiveness and signs of forgiveness. It's not a group of people condemning or judging. It's a people who trust that if their hearts are given to God, he will defend them.

Trusting people are vulnerable and can be crushed. A community that trusts in God rather than the righteousness of its cause can always be crushed. But from that crushing will come resurrection! Knowing that we are loved and that God is guiding us in all our fragility and littleness. There is a hidden strength in being vulnerable, open and non-violent. We are not elite, we do not think we are better than another. We are people who are poor, but who have been drawn together by God and put their trust in God. That's what a kingdom community is about. A community that knows it has been called by God in all its poverty and weakness, and that God is love.

We recognize we are prodigals, not called to judge or condemn but to BE instruments of life, to give life and receive life. We have an incredible gift! We've been called together in community- it's the poor and the weak who've called us and our mission is to give life, one to another inside the community. This is reason for celebration! But along with this comes pain but also hope. Because we are all not one yet. We are drawn together by God to be a sign of the resurrection, a sign of unity in this world where there is so much division.

Together we are gathered to signify the power of God who transforms death to life. That's our hope, that God is doing the impossible: changing death to life inside us and then in our community. We can be agents of the world in this transformation of brokenness into wholeness and death into life. Won't you join me?


*Mostly quoted from a lecture entitled; From Brokenness to Community. Used here to call back into community those chosen before the world began. Respectfully & prayerfully submitted. Used without permission in the hopes that forgiveness will be extended and a family called Blood N Fire might choose to become the resurrected family it has been chosen to be.